I’ve discovered that I’m lazy, but I’m not bothered by it. I haven’t always been lazy, but lately nothing matters to me. It’s a strange mindset to find myself in. It’s unusual. When something needed to get done, I’d get it done. Now-a-days, if I’ve decided nothing has any urgency, I’m doing nothing about it.
I used to treat everything with a sense of urgency, either now, or never.
I’m partially fed up with the list of must-dos. I’ve been must-do all of my life. I’m bored by it. Frankly, I’ve decided to rewrite my rules and handle things my way. If it means I will be swimming upstream against the tide, then so-be-it. I think I’m done with the must-dos.
I’m especially annoyed by the constant advice of “following your passion.” I’ve got news for people, a passion has to stay a hobby, because they rarely pay the bills. If a person is something of a famous avant-garde, they can do whatever they want. Wow, I am so jealous of them.
My goals are rather mundane.
They are so mundane, I have to write them down daily, otherwise, I could easily pursue something else to occupy my time. I still have the wandering attention span of a child.
Man, I am so annoyed. There’s a lesson to be learned in trying to do everything myself. One doesn’t always save money that way. There’s no additional benefit to it either. I’m sucking my teeth in aggravation. It gets worse every time I make a fix. It’s like I never see how much I am screwing it up. It’s scary.
I’m almost ready to throw my hands up in frustration, but I cannot.